Being Fat is not equal to being Voluptuous

Fatty, moti, cute, cuddly, bhes (buffalo), fattybumbolatty are just some of the words my ‘friends’ use to describe my not so shapely figure.

I like to call myself voluptuous. Talk about fooling oneself.

Losing weight has been on my agenda for long. And I have done nothing concrete about it.

When I go shopping for clothes, I longingly admire those figure hugging clothes, short skirts and spaghetti strap tops. Sometimes I even try to get into them, look at the image in the mirror and sulk. I eat to get over the temporary depression that follows. Didn’t they say the world is round?

Sometimes I tell myself I need to be more disciplined, to pursue it with more vigour as I pursue other things in life. Occasionally when it dawns on me that I am out of shape, I go on a two hour walk or stop eating fatty food.

It is important to understand and accept that all the rationalisations about one’s weight do not make one feel at peace no matter what. Not doing anything about one's excess weight is plain laziness. It shows that the nature of the person -of the laziness and carelessness.

Off course there is no motivation. Otherwise I would be running 3 hours rather than sitting on my fat bum and writing about it. But then I need to vent out my frustration of being overweight before trying to shed those extra kilos.

I have realised and accepted that being heavy makes me feel ugly and unwanted. I don’t like to see the mirror. And no its not the social conditioning that slim is in. I don’t want to be slim. I want my body to get proportionate like it was earlier. I want to pamper my body and make it feel beautiful from within and outside.

Every year, every birthday I promise my self I will lose at least 15 kgs. The tempo is there for a week, ten days and then it just fizzles out. So what’s new this time?

I am again going through that do or die phase and I am hoping it will last till I lose weight and inculcate some healthy eating and exercising regime in my daily routine.

I am going to write a regular diary of what I am doing about it. Whether this time I will lose weight or not we will watch. But I am going to give it my best shot.